Here are some of my favourite quotes:

Joey trying to explain his emotions:

Joey - "I'm an actor right? So I have to keep my emotions right at the surface, you know, I gotta lot of balls in the air, you know what I mean? It's tough, guys like me, you know, you wander around you're alone....."
Ross - "What are you talking about?"
Joey - " I'm not sure."

Joey explaining why he is wearing a top hat:

Joey - "There's this play right, and I'm up for the part of this really cool, like suave international guy, a real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda, you know, ultra hip, high fashion stuff."

Monica filing all her pictures and cross referencing them:

Rachel - "It's me and Lapooh, wow I really miss that dog."
Monica - "You can also find him under 'dog' and 'dead'."

Joey in hospital with kidney stones:

Monica - Feeling a little better sweetie?"
Joey - Yeah maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up!"
Monica - "Me too!"

Chandler and Joey trying to decide which baby is Ben. One baby has got ducks on his t-shirt, the other has got clowns:

Joey - "Lets flip a coin to decide."
Chandler -  "You wanna flip for the baby!!"
Joey - "You got a better idea!"
Chandler - "Okay we need to assign a side for each baby."
Joey - "Okay well ducks is heads 'cos ducks have heads!"
Chandler - "What kind of scary assed clowns came to your birthday!"
 

Ross moaning because someone ate his sandwich at work:

Monica - "What's the matter?"
Ross (really upset) - "Someone ate my sandwich at work!!"
Chandler - "Well what did the Police say?"

Gang realise that Ugly Naked Guy's friend is actually Ross

Joey - "Hey Ugly Naked Guy has got a naked friend!"
Rachel - "Oh yeah.......(gasp) that's our friend!! It's Naked Ross!!"

Phoebe telling the gang about being a surrogate mother:

Phoebe - "What's to talk about, I'm going to be giving someone the best possible gift."
Chandler - "You're going to carry their child AND get them a Sony Playstation?"

Ross finding out about Monica and Chandler:

Ross (REALLY angry) - "My best friend and my sister, I just can't believe this!!!"
Chandler - "Look man we're not just fooling around, I love her okay I'm in love with her."
Monica - "Sweetie I'm sorry but it's true. I love him too."
Pause
Ross (REALLY happy) - "My best friend and my sister, I can't believe this!!"
 
 

Joey using the same excuse as Monica and Chandler, to do something he wouldn't do in America:

Monica - "You promised Phoebe you wouldn't eat meat until she had the babies."
Joey - "Well I figured we're in another country so it didn't count."
Monica - "That's true!"
Chandler - "Man's got a point!"

Not liking what Ross has done with the answer machine:

Joey - "Since you are going to be here a while Ross, I was thinking why don't you put your name on the answer machine"
Ross - "I hope you don't mind but I kinda already jazzed it up a little. Check it out!"
Ross (on answer machine to the music of "We will rock you") "We will, we will call you back!"
Ross - "Pretty cool huh!" (and walks off)
Joey - "You're fake laughing too right?"
Chandler - "Yeah, but the tears are real!"

Seeing Ross's things in the appartment:

Chandler - "Oh my God! Ross's air purifier! All I heard for four years through college was mmmmmmmm!"
Joey - "Dude you should have got out more!
 

Angry that Ross is intruding on his personal life:

Joey - "Did you know that Ross taped over my Baywatch tape with a show about Bugs? My God what if that had been porn!"

Chandler coming home to find the appartment FULL of wood:

Chandler - "So Joey what happened, did a forest piss you off?"
Joey - "Well you know how we've always been saying we needed somewhere for the mail?"
Chandler - "Yeah??????!"
Joey - "Well I've decided to take it to the next level."
Chandler - "You're building a post office?!"

Worrying about Emily's departure in a few days:

Ross - "I've been prepared for this. We both knew we had two weeks together and that was it."
Joey - "Hey that's what all my relationships are like!"
Chandler - "Yeah but in Ross's case they both knew in two weeks that was it!"

Chandler describing their visit to see girlfriend Kathy in her new play:


Ross - Well Kathy gets half naked and simulates sex with a real good looking guy."
Chandler - "It's like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare, and then charged me thirty two dollars to see it!"

Discussing the early edition book he bought for Kathy's birthday:

Chandler - "Don't touch it, 'cos your fingers have destructive oils!"
Rachel - "Well then you had better keep it away from Ross's hair!"
 

Monica trying to find out what the apparently redundant light switch is for:

Rachel - "What are these?"
Monica - "Electrical plans for the building."
Rachel - "Okay should I be scared?!"

Chandler admitting he's a member of a gym:

Chandler - "I try to go four times a week, but so far I've missed the last.......1200 times!"

Giving Joey the choice to get rid of his kidney stones:

Doctor - "Your kidney stones are too close to your bladder, which means either we wait to see if you pass them or we can go up your urethra."
Joey - "Whoa! No! No! No! Nothing is going up! Up is not an option! What's a urethra! (Monica whispers to him) Are you crazy!!!"

Admitting they can't keep going like they used to:

Ross - "I'm kinda beat."
Chandler - "Actually me too!"
Joey - "You serious!"
Ross and Chandler - "Yeah!"
Joey - "Thank God! I'm exhausted!"

Monica - "I just had to turn down a job catering a funeral for 60 people."
Rachel - "Oh my God! What happened?"
Monica - "60 guests!"

Phoebe to Monica as they break up their catering business:

Phoebe - "You are the cook. Without you it's just me driving up to people's houses with empty trays and asking for money!"